Opie & Thurston’s
Hot Sauce
Reverse-engineered from a fictional grandma's recipe, a TV mass spectrometer's ingredient list, and an AI assist to fill in the quantities nobody on screen ever gave.
A fictional character's hot sauce, a lab mass spectrometer that could name the colors of peppers but not the varieties, and an AI recipe generator filling in every quantity the show never gave. Built from clues, not a real recipe — and hot enough that even the Carolina Reapers are doing exactly what they're supposed to.
Read the full story — Cooking Up Clues: A Hidden Recipe in ‘Bones’Everything
- 2 cups apple cider vinegar
- 2 fresh tomatoes, diced
- 1 Vidalia onion, diced
- ⅓ cup brown sugar
- ¾ tsp cayenne pepper
- 1 tbsp cumin
- 4 cloves garlic, diced
- 1 tsp salt
- 1–2 Carolina Reaper peppers*
- 2 medium yellow bell peppers, chopped
- 1 tsp guinea pepper*
*Use 2 Reapers for real heat, 1 if you'd rather still taste your tongue afterward. No guinea pepper? Substitute ½ tsp each freshly ground black pepper and cardamom. Tasteless grocery-store tomatoes? Swap in 1 cup canned diced tomatoes.
Prep the Peppers wear gloves
Wear gloves to handle the Carolina Reaper peppers — really. Even with gloves, the capsaicin can still get to you a little. Remove the stems and seeds from both the Reapers and the yellow bell peppers and finely chop.
Combine Everything
Combine all the ingredients in a medium saucepan.
Simmer 15–20 min
Bring the mixture to a boil over medium heat, then reduce the heat and let it simmer 15–20 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Cool & Blend
Allow the mixture to cool, then blend until smooth using an immersion blender or a regular blender.
Store
Use immediately or store in the fridge for up to 5 days. Also freezes well in vacuum-sealed bags for up to 6 months — some separation may occur, but it's cosmetic and won't affect the taste.