Traveling Solo: Janet’s 10 Tips for Women Traveling Alone

By Janet Blackwell

This fall I took my first truly solo trip in decades: a flight to Greenville, a rental car, and two nights at Biltmore, all by myself. I survived, I had a good time, and I learned a few things worth passing along.

1Don’t advertise that you’re traveling alone.

This is probably my most important safety tip.

When I checked into the hotel at BWI, there were no other guests around the front desk. I felt perfectly comfortable saying that I only needed one room key. But if there had been other people within earshot, I likely would have asked for two keys. Why? Because there’s no reason for a stranger to know that I was traveling solo.

At 67, I don’t consider myself a beauty queen, though Jeff would disagree (bless his heart) and I’m certainly not assuming every man I encounter is interested in me. But there are enough deranged idiots in the world that I don’t need to make myself an easy target by advertising that I’m alone.

When I left my room to go downstairs for a drink, I left a light on in the room and the television playing. Maybe it sounds silly, but I figured there was no downside. Leaving the room looking and sounding as if it was occupied is a simple precaution.

I also learned something at the hotel bar. I went downstairs to get a drink to go with my dinner (a sub from a local carryout), along with a glass of wine to enjoy as a nightcap. When it was time to pay, I wanted to charge the drinks to my room. The bartender asked for my room number. There were several men within earshot. I was glad I’d ordered two drinks as it looked like someone was joining me.

Had I ordered only one drink, I might have simply said, “Oh, I think I’ll put this on my Visa.” I mentioned my concern when I checked out and suggested they have a talk with their bar staff about being more discreet when asking a lone woman for her room number when charging things to the room. An airport hotel has plenty of single women with flight crews as guests, and it is something they should be more sensitive to.

When you’re traveling alone, you become much more aware of what information you’re casually giving out.

2Lock your hotel room, and use every lock available.

As soon as I reached my room, I locked the door and engaged the second lock. I do this even when I travel with Jeff, but I took pains to make it a habit every time I entered the room. And don’t prop your hotel room door open, even for a quick trip down the hall to fill your ice bucket.

3Be smart about your rental car.

The last time I rented a car by myself was 45 years ago. Jeff has always handled this when we travel. Not because he’s chauvinistic. He isn’t. It’s just our division of labor when we travel. He handles the rental car, and I handle everything else.

Before you go, know your options for rental car insurance. I talked this through with Jeff well in advance. Know the fuel policy and what you’re responsible for. And check the gas gauge before you leave the lot. I was 20 minutes down the road before I noticed Alamo had given me a car with half a tank of gas!

Before driving away, take a few minutes to familiarize yourself with the car. Where are the headlights? How do the windshield wipers work? Where is the emergency brake? How do you adjust the mirrors? How do you connect your phone? Don’t start trying to figure all of that out while you’re driving on the highway. I found a parking lot right outside the rental car facility where I could get familiar with the car and set up the GPS.

Walk around the car and take pictures of any existing damage before you leave the lot. And if you’re driving somewhere unfamiliar, make sure your phone is charged and consider carrying a portable charger.

4Plan, but don’t overplan.

When traveling alone, I think it’s important to have a general plan for the day. Know where you’re going and how you’re getting there. Have a general idea of how long it will take. But leave yourself some flexibility.

My Biltmore day had a plan: a 9:00 a.m. guided tour of Biltmore House, a full hour before the house opened to the general public, then back in the afternoon for a Backstairs tour and that evening for sunset on the back terrace and Luminere. Everything in between was up to me. If I wanted to linger, I lingered. If I was ready to move on, I moved on.

There is no negotiating with anyone else. And I discovered that this is one of the best things about traveling alone. The freedom to do what I wanted.

5Find a way to share the “Wow!”

What I missed most was having someone beside me to say “Wow!” to when going to the Biltmore House. I parked in Lot A, which meant a leisurely five- to ten-minute walk through the woods. When I came out of the trees and caught my first glimpse of Biltmore House, I just stopped and stared. It was magnificent, but there was no one there to share the moment with.

I was by myself. What was I to do? I took pictures, lots of them, and several times immediately texted them to a friend or family member. When someone texted back “Wow!”, it was almost like they were standing there with me.

I wasn’t lonely at Biltmore, but I did miss having someone to share it with, and my phone filled that gap better than I expected.

6Don’t be afraid to talk to people.

This one surprised me. When you travel with someone, you focus on each other. When you’re alone, you end up talking to the people around you: the person sitting next to you, the hotel employee helping you, or another traveler.

On my trip I found that people were friendly. There were only three of us on my Biltmore House tour, plus our guide, so we had plenty of chances to ask questions. I had fun chatting with one of the women on the tour about the Hallmark movie A Biltmore Christmas. At the wine tasting at Antler Hill Village, the woman next to me was there by herself, and we had a very nice conversation about the wines we were tasting, Biltmore House, and more. I also enjoyed talking with several of the employees who worked inside the house. Had I been with someone else, I likely wouldn’t have had these conversations.

I’m not suggesting you share your life story with every stranger you meet, but a simple conversation can make solo travel feel much less lonely.

7Don’t let being alone stop you from eating.

I’ll admit it: eating alone in a restaurant is hard for me. The Village Hotel didn’t offer room service, so hiding in my room wasn’t an option. In the end, that was a good thing.

I started small. For my first lunch, I picked up a sandwich at the Kitchen Café and found a table outside. Breakfast at Village Social was easy. I got there at 7:00 a.m., right when they opened, and I was the only guest. Problem solved!

Dinner the second night was harder. Village Social was packed, and they seated me at a table for two right in the middle of everything. I felt like I was on display. So I pulled out my phone and went through the pictures I’d taken that day at Biltmore House. Before long, I wasn’t thinking about who might be looking at me.

The next morning, I went back for breakfast. It was packed again, and I’d left my phone in the room. Disaster! Luckily, I had a pen and paper in my purse, so I made notes about my trip. It turned out to be a good thing. I wrote down details I would otherwise have forgotten.

Here’s what I figured out: people aren’t paying nearly as much attention to you as you think. Most are busy with their own dinner, their own conversation and their own lives. Bring a book, your phone or a notepad, and go eat. One of the joys of traveling is the local restaurants and food. Don’t deprive yourself of that just because you don’t have someone sitting across the table.

I’m still working on it. But I can survive being seated by myself at a table for two in the middle of a crowded dining room.

8Let someone know where you are.

Even if you’re an independent woman who can take care of herself, somebody should know your general itinerary. Share your hotel information and travel plans with a family member or friend. Let them know when you’ve arrived safely. You don’t need someone checking on you every hour, but having someone who knows where you are can provide peace of mind for both of you.

9Trust your instincts.

If something doesn’t feel right, listen to that feeling. Don’t worry about being polite; if someone makes you uncomfortable, leave. If a restaurant or bar doesn’t feel right, walk out. If you get into an elevator and suddenly don’t feel comfortable with the person inside, you can get off at another floor. If you feel uneasy walking somewhere, call an Uber or take a taxi rather than telling yourself you should be fine.

You don’t need a dramatic reason to leave. Your gut is enough.

10Give yourself permission to be uncomfortable.

This may be the biggest lesson I took away from my trip. I was uncomfortable before I left, uncomfortable picking up the rental car, uncomfortable driving somewhere unfamiliar, and uncomfortable eating and having drinks by myself.

And then I got over it. It didn’t suddenly feel comfortable. I just discovered I could do it.

Sometimes we wait until we feel confident before we try something new. Maybe we should try it anyway and let the confidence come afterward.

So, Would I Do It Again?

Absolutely.

Would I prefer to travel with someone I love like Jeff, family or friends? Probably. But I no longer think of traveling alone as something I can’t do, and that’s a pretty good feeling. Empowering even.

Maybe your spouse or significant other doesn’t like to travel, your friends aren’t available, or there’s someplace you’ve always wanted to see that nobody else in your life does. Or maybe, like me, you had an opportunity to visit a place you wanted to see and chose to take it.

Go. Start small if you need to. Take a day trip. Spend a night somewhere nearby. Take a short flight. Join a tour where you’ll meet other travelers. Book a cruise. Do whatever feels like the right first step for you. If you want help finding a tour or cruise that’s friendly to solo travelers (some even waive the single supplement), that’s what I’m here for.

If I can do it at 67, after 45 years of letting Jeff pick up the rental car, you can too.